Summer can be a challenging time to stay sober with so many social activities involving substances. The weather, the schedule, and increased events and gatherings make going out and being social the thing to do. Unfortunately, too many people also expect that drinking or using other substances is also the thing to do. Worse still, it can be easy to remember past summers and how you may have spent them while in active addiction.
How will you stay sober throughout the whole summer? How will you be able to resist the many social activities loaded with opportunities to relapse? How does anyone survive the summer sober?
The Ultimate Survival Strategy: One Day at a Time
Those outside of recovery may think that the phrase “one day at a time” is just cliché, but while in recovery, you know that one day at a time is the ultimate survival strategy. This popular and effective mantra is highly applicable to surviving the summer sober.
Whatever happened yesterday is in the past. Whatever happens tomorrow is in the future, and who knows what will happen then? Just for today, for this specific 24 hours, you can control what you will do—one summer day at a time. Can you manage this summer day sober when you look at it through the lens of “just for today?” What about the next hour? Or even the next minute? Break it down as small as you need to to be manageable for you in the moment.
Do Not Look at the Whole Summer
If you look at the entire summer, it can be overwhelming to think about staying sober the whole time. Thinking about all of the holidays, parties, and events at once can overwhelm and discourage you, sending you spiraling toward a relapse just by thinking about it. Staying sober by thinking about all of the situations in which you will never drink or use other substances again is not a model for success, as it would overwhelm even the strongest-willed person.
Breaking down the summer into manageable pieces, one day at a time, is a strategy for success. You do not need to worry about the next wedding or barbecue or Labor Day weekend activities right now. Just think about maintaining your sobriety today, through the next hour if necessary. By breaking it down into manageable pieces, you will be more able to survive the long haul.
How Will You Stay Sober Today?
Make your relapse prevention plan for the here and now: What will you do to ensure that you stay clean and sober today? How will you get through this day without drinking or using other substances? What is your game plan? Do you have one?
Surviving each summer day sober requires preparation and planning on your part. Some of the things you can do each day to ensure you stay sober include:
- Staying busy – What are your plans for today? Do you have work? School? Other commitments? What are your plans for tonight?
- Going to meetings – Do you have at least one on the schedule for today?
- Staying in touch with my sponsor – If you are struggling, have you contacted my sponsor today?
- Exercise – When are you exercising today?
- Self-care – What are you doing for self-care today, and when are you doing it?
- Eating well – When are you eating your three meals and snacks, and what are you eating that will be good for your body?
- Meditation or relaxation – When will you spend some downtime for your mind and body today?
- Other commitments – Do you have appointments, errands, or family commitments you need to take care of today?
- Friends – When are you texting, talking to, or hanging out with your sober friends today?
Until you have completed everything on that list and checked it twice, you should not have any downtime to worry about whether or not you are staying sober. If you have completed everything on that list and still have time left in your day, consider volunteering somewhere or getting involved in your community.
Planning to Stay Sober One Social Event at a Time
When there is a social event, you can make a plan to stay sober just through that specific gathering. You do not need to worry about all of the events, nor do you need to make the same decision for each one. For example, you may make a different decision about a family wedding than being invited to go out dancing with some people you barely know.
Look at each social event and decide how you will manage that event, one event at a time. Will you attend? If you are new to recovery, you may wish to turn down most invitations where you know alcohol or other substances will be available. If the event is important, such as a family or work event, and alcohol exposure may be limited or avoidable, you may wish to make a plan to attend that helps you stay sober. Some of the ways to stay sober when invited to a party or event include:
- Not attending
- Bringing a sober friend for support
- Setting a time to leave early, before alcohol is served
- Bring your own non-alcoholic beverages
- Practice saying no to substances
The Dangers of Reminiscing
One of the most dangerous paths you could take when worrying about staying sober this summer is taking a trip down memory lane. When you start reminiscing about past summers and the parties you attended and what you did, you may already have mentally relapsed.
Relapse is not just physically using substances again; there are stages that you go through before you get there. First is an emotional relapse that occurs when you are not taking good care of yourself. Additionally, you have perhaps stopped attending meetings and maybe allowed your emotions to bottle up inside you.
A mental relapse involves craving or thinking about drugs or alcohol, dwelling on or glamorizing past use, lying or bargaining, and looking for or planning a relapse. You may go through these stages very quickly, or they could sneak up on you over time. Once a mental relapse has occurred, honest and thorough self-awareness is vital as you are heading toward a potentially dangerous situation.
The Power of Staying Present
To stay sober this summer, you will want to find the power of staying present. Instead of worrying about the future or reminiscing about the past, learning to focus on the here and now, what is happening today, will help you to stay sober. This mindset can be challenging if you feel depressed, bored, or that your summer is not as fun as before.
Part of the power of staying present is acknowledging that you have the ability to change your current situation. If you feel depressed, you should talk to your sponsor, reach out to friends, and speak to your therapist. Symptoms of depression that last for two weeks or longer are considered severe and need treatment. Symptoms of depression put you in danger of relapse.
If you feel bored or feel like you have had more fun in the past, then do something now to change the present. You alone have the power over how you think about your current situation. If you are not happy, find something to do to change your situation. Call a friend. Make some plans. Do something on your own that is fun. You can be present and sober and have fun—they are not mutually exclusive.
Spending Time With New Sober Friends
One of the best ways to enjoy being sober this summer is to spend time with friends who support your recovery. These may be new sober friends, or perhaps they are friends you have had for a long time who are also sober. To survive the summer sober, you will want to maximize your time with people who support your recovery.
As tempting as it may be to hang out with your old drinking buddies for just one night or spend an evening with someone just because they are in town, your sobriety is more important than your past relationships. You can communicate with them over the phone or Facetime if you need to stay in contact with them, but all of your in-person time should be spent with sober friends.
Finding New Ways to Spend Your Time
Another challenge for your sober summer is to find new ways to spend your time. The activities you participated in while in active addiction most likely will no longer be appropriate in sobriety, providing you the opportunity to explore new places and new activities with all new people.
Avoiding places that serve alcohol or have other substances may seem challenging. Still, as you branch out and find new interests, you will find plenty of places to go and things to do while sober that you may have never experienced before. Being creative and exploring new places will make your summer that much more fun.
Planning Your Own Social Activities
If you have difficulties finding places to go or things to do with no alcohol or other substances, then another option is to plan your own sober activities. If you are looking for fun things to do, know that other sober people are too. Be the person who organizes the parties and events for those who want to have fun without the substances.
Finding other sober people to socialize with should not be much of a challenge as you attend meetings, talk to people in your sober living community, and get involved with other sober events in the area. Look for sober exercise groups, special interest groups, or even religious groups in the area. These groups provide opportunities to meet new sober friends to hang out with and invite to appropriate activities.
Give Yourself Credit for Success
As you get through your sober summer one day at a time, one moment at a time, do not forget to give yourself credit for your accomplishments. At the end of each day, acknowledge yourself for making it through another day sober. Every day is an accomplishment. Each day you reach your goal, you are another day closer to your bigger purpose of surviving the summer sober.
Just as you break it down one day at a time, you should give yourself credit for each day you get through and each social event you manage to stay sober. Each little triumph will add up, and soon you will realize that you have made it after all. By focusing on one day at a time, you can survive the summer sober.
Surviving the summer sober is possible when you break it down one day at a time. When you avoid looking at the whole summer and break it down into manageable pieces, staying sober one social event at a time becomes realistic. Avoiding the temptation to reminisce by staying present and spending time with new sober friends exploring new activities will help you fill your summer with fun and new memories. Real Recovery Sober Living in Florida offers men’s sober living homes that are clean and affordable. We maintain an environment of accountability and stability while still having fun together. Our program offers experience, strength, and hope as you rebuild your life. We provide a safe and stable recovery environment with a strong community support system to help you successfully transition back into the real world. Contact us at (727) 290-9156 to learn more about having a sober summer.
