Patrick Slattery Addiction Recovery February 22, 2022 You will sometimes face situations where your friends or 12-Step peers need your help getting through difficult moments in early recovery. You can support and encourage people who struggle with overcoming substance use disorders (SUDs) and addictive behaviors by using healthy methods of communication, your own experience, and the resources at your disposal. Have you been contacted by someone in the 12-Step community who has relapsed or is thinking about misusing substances again? Are you uncertain how best to help them? The situation can be triggering for many people, and you should not face it alone. You have an entire community available to help you cope and find safe ways to approach the person who needs support. Avoid Overloading Yourself With Responsibilities The most important thing in early recovery is to look out for your own well-being. One way you can avoid overwhelming yourself is to become part of your local recovery community by joining support groups, attending events, and actively communicating with others going through similar circumstances. Instead of shouldering the task of helping a struggling friend or someone in the 12-Step community on your own, make sure you bring two or three sober peers with you. The added support will decrease pressure and show the person struggling that many people care about them. Everyone in the group will benefit from helping one another navigate ongoing sobriety. You can also confide in close friends, loved ones, or people in your support system who can advise you on healthy ways to encourage others without compromising the new life and routines you have built. According to research published in Social Work in Public Health, “There are many paths to recovery from alcohol and SUDs, and one that has been traveled by many and is associated with positive long-term outcomes is involvement in 12-Step and mutual/self-help groups.” The paper goes on to state that “[s]uch groups, including Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Cocaine Anonymous (CA) and several others, have served as the primary, if not only, source of behavior change for many, as adjuncts to formal treatment, or as a form of continuing care and community support following treatment.” You, too, can be a part of that critical fellowship of peers. Being There for a Friend or Loved One You know your friends and loved ones best, which gives you an advantage when you take steps to support their recovery. However, the closer you are to someone, the harder it is to avoid potentially codependent behaviors or routines. You may find your self-esteem and sense of self-worth tied to that relationship in a maladaptive way. To avoid falling into an unhealthy or toxic relationship with someone else with SUD, you need to maintain self-awareness and look at the situation objectively. The best way to do that is by enlisting the help of other people, including: Individuals in the 12-Step community Your support system Your therapist or counselor How to Become an Effective Support Codependency can develop in relationships where you feel responsible for the other person’s mental and physical health. You want to be effective while avoiding codependent behaviors that will cause more harm than good in the long run. According to Melody Beattie’s 2009 book, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, “The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, ‘What do I need to do to take care of myself?'” The rewards of helping others are immense and can increase your confidence, self-efficacy, and self-esteem. However, you should always put your well-being first. Below are a few healthy ways you can effectively show your support to others who may be looking for validation, inspiration, or encouragement: Demonstrate healthy living and the benefits of sticking with a recovery plan Empathize with their struggle and give advice based on your personal experiences Practice active and objective listening by being a safe place where they can vent their frustrations or celebrate victories Share Your Experiences With Others You can significantly impact the recovery community by sharing your story and the things that motivated you to make healthy changes. Individuals still living with active addiction or people in recovery and their families can find inspiration in your journey. The internet connects people from all walks of life worldwide and provides an excellent platform for sharing a message of hope and understanding. You can tell your story through many mediums, including: Social media Video channels and podcasts Blog posts In-person meetings and events Live streaming events Online support forums You have no obligation to tell others about your personal journey, but sharing it can be cathartic and give hope to individuals who relate. Serving and uplifting others is one way to empower yourself. Your story is worth telling, and it may be what someone needs to hear to achieve or maintain sobriety. Becoming a Mentor or Sponsor Becoming a mentor or sponsor in recovery is both an honor and a great responsibility. You should feel completely comfortable and confident in your own sobriety before you start to share your insight and support with someone else. Otherwise, you could have difficulty remaining objective. During early recovery, you may feel compelled to serve others in the community and nurture newcomers like yourself. However, the responsibilities of mentoring someone make it better suited for individuals who have gotten through the first stages of recovery and are several years into their ongoing sobriety. You can use other methods for sharing advice and encouraging others without putting your health at risk by starting a mentorship before you are ready. Provide a listening ear and give helpful advice if you need to play a more active role in helping others around you. There is no shame in understanding your boundaries and letting people know that you require a little more time before you feel confident enough in your own sobriety to help guide someone else through theirs. Support Peers in a Sober Living Facility Living with sober peers can make sharing support and encouragement easier depending on the environment. The safe and comfortable space at places like Real Recovery Sober Living makes the transition to becoming a role model more natural and straightforward. You live beside individuals who will see you at your worst and best, and you will be in a unique position to receive and lend a helping hand. No one has to go through early recovery entirely alone when they live in a community that fosters fellowship and the 12-Step philosophy. You can watch others and adopt their positive behavior and thought patterns as you continue to grow and heal. Lead by Example The most straightforward way to help someone in need during your early recovery is to lead by example. The hard work of retraining your brain and body to live without substance misuse is visible. Each day you will see signs of progress that you can share. Living by example puts you in a position where you have high accountability and motivation to remain sober. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) describes early recovery as a time when “positive changes and values become part of a voluntarily adopted lifestyle.” With the help of tools like support groups and therapy, “even people with severe and chronic substance use disorders can . . . overcome their illness and regain health and social function.” No matter where you are in your recovery journey, you can show others how to overcome challenges by continuing to move forward day by day. Practice Self-Care While Supporting Others Taking care of yourself is a part of helping others. You cannot be a positive role model or provide healthy support to others unless you look after your own mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Take time each day to practice self-care. Typical forms of self-care include: Making time each day to spend alone in meditation or practicing mindfulness techniques Saying “no” to requests that may compromise your sobriety Doing things that bring you joy Socializing with friends and loved ones Spending time with your pets Doing something that makes you feel relaxed and joyful Always take time to look after your mental wellness. Proper sleep and nutritional meals are an essential part of everyday self-care. Look out for yourself by creating a healthy routine that incorporates these activities. 5 Ways to Encourage Others in Early Recovery Every day you can do small things to show others how to continue moving forward in recovery. Below are five ways to encourage others who may want to achieve or maintain sobriety: Empathize with individuals facing challenges. Give advice and tell them what healthy coping mechanisms worked for you. Be an example by attending meetings regularly, on time, and communicating openly about your successes and failures in early recovery. Share your story with groups and individuals. Keep making progress and let others see you successfully transition from early recovery to ongoing sobriety. Make a Difference Today Every day is an opportunity to heal, grow, and serve others within the sober community. You can make a difference in many ways, from practicing patience and grace when interacting with others to sharing your story on a large scale. No matter where you are in your recovery journey, there are ways you can reach out and provide inspiration, support, and encouragement to others seeking to achieve or maintain sobriety. You can share the things you have learned that help you cope and heal by participating in 12-Step meetings, group therapy, or any methods mentioned above. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), sober living communities like Real Recovery Sober Living provide peers “with the opportunity to continually surround themselves with other people who are pursuing the same goal of recovery and wellness. It’s a place where people fit in, have common experiences and goals, and can be authentic without having to explain their addiction or recovery needs.” You want to be there to make a difference in the community, which is a beautiful thing. However, during early recovery, you may need extra support to cope with stressors, including assisting others who may be facing challenging moments. You can give them encouragement and a helping hand without putting your health at risk by relying on resources and other people in the recovery community. At Real Recovery Sober Living, we understand the importance of peer support and encourage people to be patient and help one another through the difficult first few months of sobriety. You can help others while practicing daily self-care and making well-thought-out choices to ensure you remain confident in your ability to overcome cravings, intrusive thoughts, and other recovery challenges. To learn more about the services we offer at Real Recovery Sober Living, give us a call today at (727) 290-9156. We look forward to hearing from you. Recovery Sober - Share on Facebook Share on twitter