Patrick Slattery Sober Living November 1, 2022 Through the lifelong journey of recovery, you will learn a lot about yourself. You likely will go through many changes and develop a new perception of yourself through your journey. One key factor in recovery is gaining the ability to become independent. While many treatment programs teach the skill of independence, it is hard to put into practice while living in a treatment facility. Transitioning these skills into the outside world is often challenging. It may seem simple to learn about being independent. However, when it comes to implementing the necessary actions, independence can be challenging. Living in a sober living home through this transition is a great way to put new skills to practice. Having the opportunity to practice independence with real-life encounters in a secure environment is a huge advantage during your transitional stage. The Meaning of Independence To gain a sense of independence, it is important to understand what independence is and how it can benefit you. The definition of independence goes back to the early history of the country. American culture values independence and self-determination. Independence describes the ability to make your own choices, shape who you are as an individual, and partake in the identity you wish to obtain. Independence through your recovery is a great way to maintain sobriety. When you are working to establish your life in adulthood, it is important to feel confident in your ability to remain independent. With all the skills learned in recovery, you should feel that you can manage obstacles on your own. This does not mean that you cannot seek assistance and ask for help. Rather, it means that you are not dependent on others for success. Why Is Independence Important? Becoming independent may sound nice, but what are the real benefits of obtaining this characteristic? The key benefit of becoming independent in your recovery journey is to feel confident in the ability to make your own decisions. As you are presented with different opportunities, you will have the ability to make decisions on your terms. When a situation for potential relapse comes into play, you can decide to step away on your own. You distance yourself from potentially blaming others for your actions and become a person of your virtues. Along with the ability to make your own decisions, you can feel validated in your abilities. If you consistently feel that you have to rely on others to accomplish simple daily tasks, it can be easy to develop negative thought patterns. Being able to do things on your own can help you feel empowered and confident in who you are as an individual. When tough situations arise, you will feel more comfortable in your abilities to tackle the problem without seeking assistance. Strategies to Become Independent Focusing on key components helps guide your work toward a state of independence and self-sufficiency. Use this opportunity and the structure provided within sober living programs to establish some of these skill sets and prepare yourself for an independent life. Budgeting Many adults struggle to manage their finances. As there are various endeavors through your recovery journey that may impact your financial state, it is important to understand how to budget your finances. There are many ways to do this and you may adjust the method that works best for you. If you have no idea where to start with budgeting, there are a few simple tactics you can use to help get you started. First, look at your current expenses. Review your monthly bills, estimated budget for transportation, food, entertainment, and any other regular monthly expenditures. After that, review your spending habits. If you have a bank account, look at your previous transitions and calculate how much you have been spending each month. The tendency to purchase things with cash can lead to the dismissal of expenses. Keep a note of each expense you have throughout the next month to help monitor cash expenses. Looking at your actual spending compared to your estimated spending is a great way to see if you are overspending. You may be overspending in some categories without realizing it. Have a Plan While you are in a sober living home, create a plan moving forward. This is not the time to relax and get comfortable. It is the time to establish a routine and build your future. While you may be attending school or working full-time, it is important to consider where you want to go from here. Do you plan on getting an education? Is your passion to work in a different field? Are you planning on moving up in your current company? These questions are important to consider, as they help you establish your next steps. Whatever your long-term goals are, try to have a plan that helps you work toward them. If you want to be a lawyer someday but are stuck working at your local grocery store, how will you work your way up? Using your current resources, set up a plan that allows you to work your way into your desired position. This can be overwhelming, as many of these accomplishments seem far out of reach. Breaking large goals into smaller goals can make them seem less overwhelming, and therefore easier to achieve. Little successes also help build your confidence that you can be successful in following through with your objectives. Creating a plan can help you reach these goals and keep a realistic mindset. Real Recovery’s team can help you determine how to reach the next stage in your life. Maintain Accountability A large aspect of being independent is having the ability to hold yourself accountable. It can be easy to rely on others to keep you accountable during the early stages of recovery. Even in a sober living facility, you may attempt to rely on your housemates to hold you accountable. Developing the skills necessary to maintain accountability on your terms can help promote the maintenance of long-term sobriety. Holding yourself accountable may look intimidating from an outside perspective, but it mainly involves having a level of self-awareness. Knowing what potential situations may trigger a relapse and understanding how you respond to different situations can help you maintain accountability. Know what your goals are and discipline yourself to hold to your expectations. Self-Regulation When establishing a sense of independence, it is important to be aware of your thoughts, words, and actions toward yourself and others. If you are consistently feeling high levels of stress and are unable to regulate those emotions on your own, you may be straying away from obtaining self-sufficiency. Everyone may need assistance and support at times when overcoming difficult obstacles. It is important to have the skills to regulate regular facets of stress on your own. You may need to seek help during overwhelming obstacles. Observing your behaviors and actions around others is an important aspect of self-regulation. Ensuring that you have healthy social skills and are positively influencing those around you is a key to maintaining healthy relationships. Keeping this form of regulation requires you to be aware of how you act around others. Establish Habits During your time in a sober living home, take advantage of the provided support systems and work to establish habits to carry with you throughout your lifelong recovery journey. Some of the habits you create in treatment may not apply to the outside world. Using this time to create habits that accommodate your needs in the future is essential. By developing a healthy routine and habits that contribute to your recovery success, you can set yourself up for a path of independence once you leave the sober living home. Utilize your daily schedule to track and implement habits that positively influence your recovery. It is important to recognize that habits can change throughout your life. The habits you create while living in a sober living home will help you transition to the outside world. However, your habits may not always remain consistent. As new obstacles present themselves in your life, you may have to adjust your routines and establish new habits to accommodate your changing needs. To remain independent, it is important to address what habits you need to continue your success. It is also important to pay attention to your current habits and notice when one is no longer providing the same benefit to you, or when a new one is needed. Overcoming the Fear of Independence The concept of being independent may feel intimidating. It may cause you to feel like you will be alone and lack the necessary support to move along in your recovery. While this perception is common, it is far from true. Having a healthy level of independence does not mean you are not able to ask for help from others. It simply means that you are capable of handling things on your own. You may go through rough patches and need extra assistance from your support system. This does not take away from your independence. Fear can take away confidence in your abilities to support yourself. If you think of yourself as being incapable, your body and mind will act accordingly. Being independent starts with believing in yourself. Reinforce the thought patterns that tell yourself you are capable of success on your own. Avoid doubting your abilities to care for yourself. Dependence occurs when you are relying upon others in your support system to help you accomplish simple daily tasks. If you feel that you are unable to take action on your own, this may be a sign that you are lacking independence. Utilizing these skills can help you feel comfortable within your abilities. It can also help you to recognize the abilities that you have to accomplish your goals. Stepping over this barrier can be challenging, but is a step toward empowerment. Think of everything you have done for yourself to get to where you are today. While you may have had assistance in some areas, focus on the things you have accomplished on your own. You may be surprised to see how much you are capable of. Living in a sober living home provides you with a prime opportunity to develop a sense of independence. Many individuals in recovery feel like they are lacking independence and need a support system to feel that they can accomplish anything. Implementing these simple skills and techniques into your lifestyle during your time at our sober living home can help you establish a sense of independence. We hope you can leave our home with the confidence to be able to handle future obstacles that come your way. Independence is a quality that will promote your long-term success. To learn more about establishing a sense of independence while living in our sober living home, reach out to Real Recovery at (727) 290-9156. home Sober - Share on Facebook Share on twitter