Our Three Phased Approach to Sober Living

Recovery can be difficult without structure. Fortunately, Real Recovery provides and emphasizes structure throughout the sober living process. In this article, the three phases of sober living are discussed, as well as the expectations of residents in each phase. Expectations may include things such as the number of 12-Step meetings that should be attended, what time curfew is, and what role within the community an individual in sober living is expected to play. Once the necessary benchmarks at met, individuals can learn how to stand alone on their own two feet. 

Phase One: The First Thirty Days

During this first phase, newcomers need to integrate with their community and peers at Real Recovery. It’s easy for people to feel overwhelmed or out of place early in sober living. Some might hide behind others to avoid learning to confidently stand on their own. 

Early recovery can also cause some to have a dangerous amount of optimism. Everything seems brand new and exciting causing those in early recovery to feel optimistic about their future. The fog from substance use has lifted, they’ve successfully completed detox and treatment, and they have the whole future ahead of them. 

This “high on sobriety” feeling is often called the pink cloud effect.  It’s crucial that newcomers enter a place of stability and structure during this time because the pink cloud can be misleading. The pink cloud can disappear and cause relapse due to a lack of motivation. The real work begins after this feeling of excitement and novelty resolves. 

Newcomers have benchmarks they are expected to reach during their first month at Real Recovery. These milestones promote effective integration into the community and taking their recovery seriously. The expectations are as follows:

Identify Recovery Goals

In the first month, goals should start to develop. Recovery provides a second chance at life. In a sober living environment, individuals accomplish goals in a safe and stable environment. Goals can be recovery-related, personal, educational, or a combination. 

At Real Recovery, newcomers can start creating a plan. This time frame allows them to develop detailed goals within an achievable time frame, giving them the motivation that’s much needed after the pink cloud evaporates. These goals can provide structure in the next months of their life and throughout recovery.  

Attend Five AA/NA Meetings

Real Recovery believes in the power of the twelve steps. Residents are not required to abide by any certain faith or religion. It’s okay if a person doesn’t believe in God or a higher power. Rather, residents should look at the bigger picture and connect it to their life. 

The focus is mostly on the steps themselves and how they can positively impact one’s life. The meetings don’t need to necessarily be AA or NA; approved 12-Step programs still count. Those who are new to recovery might be reluctant to commit to attending meetings. This expectation gives them the push they need to keep attending. 

Get a 12-Step Sponsor

In 12-Step groups, a sponsor works as a mentor to guide someone through the steps and the program. Sponsors usually have been sober for at least a year and have experience with the world of sobriety. 

A sponsor can be a solid part of a support system. Sponsors can offer non-biased advice about sobriety, or any personal issues related to addiction that other people might not understand. During the first thirty days, an individual should begin actively working through the twelve steps together with their sponsor.  

Attend a Home Group Meeting

At Real Recovery, an individual’s home group is simply a group that meets weekly and involves something that the resident enjoys. This can be a sport, a cause, or a new hobby. Homegroups allow residents to get involved in the community and meet new people. A home group can be based on something that’s personally important to them, and even a motivational factor in their recovery.

Attend Weekly Peer Support House Meetings

Weekly house meetings are facilitated by staff members. In the meetings, everyone shares about their week, what meetings they attended, anything they’ve accomplished, challenges or obstacles they have run into, what their goals are for the week ahead, as well as community concerns. These meetings allow residents and staff to touch base, build comradery and receive support.

Abide by the 30-day Curfew

During the first month at Real Recovery, the curfew is rigid. The curfew for newer residents is 11:00 PM Sunday through Thursday, and midnight on Friday and Saturday. Overnight passes, or permission to stay somewhere else overnight, aren’t available for newer residents during their first month of residency. While these limitations might be frustrating for newcomers, they are set to protect those in early recovery when they are most susceptible to relapse.

Phase Two: The Next Six Months

In the last thirty days, residents have had an opportunity to integrate themselves into their community. By now they are actively participating with their peers, sharing their experiences, and showing that they are committed to recovery, as well as personal and professional growth and development. 

Once the first six months have passed, most residents have completed the 8th step of their 12-Step program, which involves making a list of those they have harmed through substance use. During these six months, most residents have also experienced some of the promises of their program.

Actively Participate in the 12-Step Recovery Program

Now that they are no longer a newcomer, individuals may be more active during meetings. At this stage, residents are expected to share in meetings, build a support network, and volunteer their service at meetings.  This may include cleaning, greeting, or making coffee. Residents should also attend monthly business meetings of their home group.

Extended Curfew and Overnight Passes

After the first month, residents can request up to two overnight passes per month. Curfew is extended to midnight Sunday through Thursday, and 1:00 AM on Friday and Saturday. By this phase, residents have shown that they are serious about their recovery and are less likely to relapse, and know enough to avoid addiction triggers.

Phase Three: The Eighteenth Month

At Real Recovery, there is no set time that residents are expected to stay or move out. The typical length of stay is between six months to eighteen months. Our recommendation is that residents stay until they have completed all twelve steps and have at least one sponsee that they are mentoring.

An Active Pillar Within Real Recovery’s Community

During the last phase, residents are expected to be influential within the sober living house. They assist newcomers, provide advice and support, answer questions, and lead by example. At this point, they become the people that newcomers looked up to when they first arrive, newly sober and filled with optimism. Now they have grown into a person that people can count on.

A Strong AA and Non-AA Social Support Network

Individuals have created a strong support network through the people they’ve met in twelve-step meetings and throughout their home group. These should be people they can rely on both when they are experiencing challenges or when life is going well.

Life Is Structured, Secure, and Stable

Within the eighteen months, residents have had time to find stable employment and rebuild their finances. They have taken the time to practice the tools they learned in treatment and apply them to real life. They no longer need to wear their training wheels. Individuals are able to stand up on their own.

A Fundamental Shift

During this time, individuals have experienced a lot of growth, both personally and spiritually. They have taken a close look at their life as it was and dissected it. Through this process of observations and realizations, parts of themselves have shifted. 

Their behavior and belief systems aren’t the same as they were the first day that they became a resident of a Real Recovery sober living home. Within this timeframe, they may have experienced several of the promises of their twelve-step program come true in their life. 

Many newcomers may be skeptical that working through a twelve-step program would make a difference in their life. After experiencing the program and how to live this new way of life, most recoverees will attribute the program to changing, or even saving, their life.  

Completion of the 12-Steps

Between six and eighteen months, residents should have almost completed all twelve steps. They have been in the program for quite some time, and have learned how to manage their addiction in a safe and healthy way. At this time, they should also be actively sponsoring newcomers. 

They may think back and remember how much their sponsor impacted their recovery journey. They are now able to be that person for someone else. While the twelve steps may be completed, attendance and working through the steps is a lifelong process that is repeated and improved over many years. 

Real Results at Real Recovery

Real Recovery has seen hundreds of alumni successfully complete these phases of residency, and are still sober and thriving today. Real Recovery strongly believes in the 12-Steps and the impact they have on the men who have completed them. The journey through these steps is transformative. Adding to that the expectation to build a strong support network of friends and allies can make a difference for the rest of their lives.

Before moving out, our graduates develop a realistic exit plan working with the Real Recovery staff. This plan outlines their next steps after moving onto the next phase of their life and the independence to follow. This exit plan makes sure that they are able to handle any road bumps along the way and have a smooth landing. The plan might include things like future housing, continued attendance of 12-Step meetings, and achievement of long-term goals. Those who’ve completed an exit plan with one of our staff typically maintain sobriety for at least a year or more after leaving one of our homes.

Entering a new environment can be overwhelming, especially if you’re used to structures similar to what you’ve had in treatment. The transition between treatment and the real world can be jarring. It can be hard to get used to needing to be your own person and rely on yourself. This is why many choose to enter a sober living home so that they can focus completely on recovery and getting back on their feet.  When they enter our sober living homes, we make sure to set rules and expectations that keep people dedicated to sobriety and on track. Once they have a hold on their life and they’re able to stay stable on their own, they can start to reintegrate into the world and become their own person. After finding stability in sober living, individuals can feel empowered to maintain lifelong recovery outside of sober living. Call (727) 290-9156 to learn more today.