There is a stereotype surrounding men that claims they do not ask for help. Whether or not that is true for you, you need all the help you can get in recovery. Learning to ask for the help you need is an integral part of the recovery process. There are many different ways to ask for help, some big and some small.
Whether you are asking for immediate support in a time of crisis, long-term support in the form of a friendship, or you need someone to help you be accountable, you can ask for help—and receive it—from various sources.
#1. Trust Your Sponsor
In recovery, your sponsor is the person who will guide you through the 12-Steps. You can reach out to him for support around the clock as you learn to navigate life in recovery. This person is also in recovery and has been where you are now. You should be able to ask him anything and trust him with any questions you have. The sponsor-sponsee relationship is built on mutual trust and respect, so you know that he will have your back at all times.
Your sponsor is someone you can trust to help you through the most challenging days. Learning to lean on him and reach out for support when you need it may be a challenge at first, but remember that he was once where you are now. He had a sponsor to lean on, and he needed help, too.
You can ask him the questions about recovery that you may be afraid to ask anyone else. You can confide in him and trust him that he will be honest with you and keep your confidences. Likewise, you will need to show him he can trust you. As you get through the tough times together, your relationship will grow, and you will realize that you can always go to your sponsor for help.
#2. Talk to Your Family
Not everyone has family members that they can go to for help. Although, you may be surprised if you try talking to your family in your time of need. Many family members will show compassion and be there for you when you need them. If you are lucky enough to have good relationships with your family, you may even have family members who will listen and can offer loving advice or support in your time of need.
Reaching out to your family when you are struggling helps create and strengthen bonds that will help you heal. The love and support that your family offers you can provide you strength in the tough times. This definition of family includes adopted family, extended family, and family that you choose. Sometimes, just talking to someone who loves you makes a world of difference when you are struggling.
#3. Confide in a Friend
It is not uncommon to feel isolated or isolate yourself from friends and family during active addiction. This tendency can be a difficult habit to break, but reaching out to a friend and confiding in them when you are struggling is a positive step forward in the recovery process. Recovery is not something you are expected to do alone, and your friends would not want you to suffer alone, either. Reach out to a friend you can trust and tell them what you are going through.
Some people are reluctant to burden a friend with their troubles, but the sharing of challenges can often help them and strengthen your relationship. Your challenges may help them be more vulnerable with you or inspire them. They may even open up and share challenges with you that you were not aware of. Reaching out to a friend and confiding in them instead of keeping your problems to yourself can have lasting rewards for both you and others in your life.
#4. Ask for Support at Work
Returning to work in recovery has additional challenges beyond everyday ones as you run the risk of relapse. Sometimes, these challenges may feel overwhelming, and you may feel trapped. Communication can change situations like these when you ask for support at work. You can talk to your boss, your supervisor, or someone in Human Resources about your struggles. Communicating your situation and needs will help them understand where you are coming from.
You may be able to ask for accommodations at work based on your needs, such as:
- The ability to take breaks as needed
- A flexible schedule
- Working from home part-time or full time
- Taking some time off
- Access to the outdoors, a gym, or someplace to do yoga or meditation
- More training or a shared workload
- Less stress, such as less interaction with others or a less intense workload
You know your job, your situation, and your needs. Ask for what you need and what you know is reasonable. Be clear that you are still willing to work hard but simply need accommodations to help you function to the best of your abilities.
#5. Find an Exercise Buddy
Do you struggle to exercise every day? Is exercising a chore and something that you dread? Finding someone to work out with, even once a week, can help change your exercise experience. An exercise buddy gives you a source of accountability because you know they will be counting on you to meet up. This dynamic will help your exercise routine become more consistent.
Finding people who share similar interests in working out can help create more motivation for you to get moving and exercise regularly. There are even whole sober groups who run, bicycle, swim, or whatever their interests are if you are lucky enough to find one near you. You could also start a group of your own if you think there is a demand in your area. Exercising with others feels more like having fun than working out, which makes reaching out for help and finding someone to exercise with a win-win.
#6. Text a Sober Friend
It is good to text a sober friend when you have a tough day and are unsure what to do or where to turn. Maybe they need to hear from you just as badly as you need to talk to them. You can ask for help from someone like this because you know they understand tough days and what you are experiencing. A simple text of support may be what gets you past that moment of temptation or that craving that you are struggling with in the moment.
Sometimes even just asking for help is enough. Sending that text helps you remember that you are not alone, do not need to do this alone, and have people you can reach out to. Even if it takes a while for your friend to get back to you, you know that they will. Your sober friends understand you and know what it means to ask for help. You never have to do this alone.
#7. Call Your Therapist
There may be times when you need more support than you are currently getting. Perhaps you graduated from therapy, or you only see your therapist once or twice a month or week, and you need to see them more often. There is no harm in that. By all means, call your therapist. When emotions surface or life happens, you should ask for more support.
Therapy is not a one-and-done program. Just as your life will have emotional ups and downs, your need for therapy may increase and decrease throughout your recovery journey. Do not be afraid to reach out for more help just because you are three months sober, six months sober, or a year sober. Therapy is healthy for anyone who needs it at any time in their life, especially in recovery.
#8. Go to a Meeting
There may be no better place to find support than a 12-Step meeting. These specific meetings are more accessible than ever, with so many still available online and in person. You can access meetings through programs or facilities you have graduated from and any other support groups you know about in your area.
Even when you go to a meeting where you do not know anyone, take heart that you all share the typical recovery struggles. There is likely at least one other person there who is having a tough day, just like you. Support meetings allow you to lean on one another, feel less alone, and be uplifted and given hope through the experiences of others. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Someday, you may be that support for someone else.
#9. Get To Know Your Neighbor
Take the time to get to know your neighbors. They may be able to help you when you need support as well. Maybe they do not understand or even know about sobriety, but neighbors make good friends, and friends watch out for each other. Perhaps they can offer words of encouragement or comfort when you are down, or even just offer the distraction of friendly conversation when you need someone to talk to.
Neighbors make good friends that can help you stay accountable in your daily routines. They can also give you excuses to go outside, get some fresh air, or even do a simple act of service to get out of yourself. Sometimes the help you need most is to be able to offer support to someone else.
#10. Reach Out to Your Alumni Group
Many residential facilities, outpatient centers, and sober living homes have alumni groups to stay in touch with once you have moved on. Perhaps you have a way to stay connected with them through social media, can call them, or there is an open door policy at the facility or home itself. Sometimes, when you are struggling, getting in touch with your alumni group or former facility can make a world of difference. Reaching out to them can feel like home—like connecting with your rehab family.
Talking to some of the healthcare professionals who treated you and those who you were in treatment with can be very rewarding when you are having a tough time. They can offer support and even provide suggestions for more sources of help now and in the future. They can re-energize you and provide that spark that you had when you left your previous programs. They can remind you of how far you have come and why you are on this journey. Your alumni family can bring you full circle and remind you why it is so important to remember to ask for help throughout recovery.
Asking for help in recovery can be as simple as texting a friend, contacting your sponsor, having an exercise buddy, or going to a meeting. You may also need to do the more difficult tasks of talking to your family, confiding in a friend, calling your therapist, or asking for support at work. The most important thing to remember is that you do not need to do this on your own. Real Recovery Sober Living in Florida offers men’s sober living homes that are clean and affordable. We are here to support you in your recovery, and we also maintain an environment of accountability and stability. Our mission is to provide a safe and stable recovery environment with a strong community support system to help men transition successfully into the real world. Let Real Recovery help you build your support network. Call us at (727) 290-9156.
